Current Reading List: Piercing the Darkness Family-the Ties that Bind...and Gag
Authority in Prayer
A Walk in the Woods Four Souls The Dream Giver This Present Darkness Echo in the Darkness A Voice in the Wind
Terrify No More
I just wanted to give you an update of where I've been lately. Team No Espanol was in Leon, Nicaragua for a week where the Lord arranged for us to meet university students and Jesus Centered Ministries. I have some great stories I'll share with you soon. In the beginning of last week we traveled to Choluteca, Honduras crossing the border before Holy Week really started to get in full swing. We stayed there for a couple days to get some rest, quite time and dive more in the Word. This was Right now we are in the capitol city, Tegucigalpa, Honduras getting ready to start our next ministry, Point of Impact. Tomorrow we'll be celebrating Easter in one of the area's barrios' and then with a local congregation.
Thank you Marco for making/updating the travel log map!
Below I'm sharing with you some rhetorical questions I've been pondering since the squad split a little over two weeks ago. I've come to my own conclusions and am working through them. Please also know that I've taken all of these to the Lord in prayer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To have a pure heart: Is it wrong to not lead a group in prayer when you're heart isn't behind your words? Would it be hypocritical or an act of obedience? Meaning that I'd be letting a lie from the enemy get me not to pray, knowing that prayer would be edification to all our spirits. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Is there necessity in receiving unconditional love from another and then immediately dealing with the pain of its giver's physical departure for either a good or bad path? How do you live with it when two leave at the same time? How can you be fully happy for the one who's following God's path when your so sad their leaving, even with the knowledge you'll see them again in 4 wks? How can you let go of other who's back sliding into old bad habits wanting to encourage them to stay strong and lean on Christ, but there's no way to keep in touch? How do you deal with realizing that you've been the unconditional lover that physically leaves…country, to country, to country, to country. Have I been so selfish to not realize that the people I leave behind hurt as much as I do now as the one being left? Do they realize that as the leaver I hurt as well?
This is an update from the part of Team Lego that was in Puerto Cabazis. We missed them greatly as it was the first that we have been logistically separated in ministry.
Last week we had a debrief in Jinotepe about a 45 minutes drive our last ministry location. I've found myself in Granada again, sleeping back in the barn for two days as my next ministry experience begins. From today till April 8th I will be traveling north to Antigua, Guatemala (our rendezvous point with the rest of the squad) with Esther and Mark. Together the three of us form Team No Espanol because as you can guess none of us speak much Spanish. So here we go off on yet another adventure to see where God is going to lead us. We're praying for wisdom, discernment, closed doors, good attitudes, creative/innovative ministries, supernatural abilities of the Spanish language, and praise for His provision.
Tomorrow, March 8, we're heading to Leon, Nicaragua as a stop on our way to visit a contact of Esther's in Tegucigalpa, Honduras. It is a colonial city similar to Granada only larger in size and known more as a University town. Our Nicaraguan friend Erick has given us a name of a specific University to visit as we hope to do some type of campus ministry. I really enjoyed the "English Corners" that we had with students in China and am looking forward to having similar opportunities.
Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is
any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray
over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And
the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord
will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore
confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may
be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. ~James 5:13-16
Granada is a city that attracts a large amount of foreigners to Nicaragua; in fact I've been told that it is the largest tourist town in the country. Realizing that there wasn't a Christian church ministering to the travelers, some of the foreign residents came together and established a church. They hold services every 1st and 3rd Sunday morning and had asked our group if two people would share their testimony. Katey volunteered but we still needed a second person to share.
Decision time came Saturday afternoon as we were walking back from the feeding program service in the barrios (~slums). We had a couple of days to pray and discern if we felt led to share our testimony. I admit I didn't pray because I don't like public speaking and was sure someone else would. No one else had volunteered yet and we needed to confirm who was sharing. Then Christy says, "How about you Tamara?" I instantly felt convicted and knew it was my time to share as I let out a, "Fine, I'll do it."
As I prayed Saturday evening God confirmed with me that I was to share. He reminded me of prior days in which he showed me how I was being prepared for that moment.
Calling me to stay in Granada and not go toPuerto Cabezas
Crying at arrival
Already having partially sharing with the guys and Katey
Completely sharing with Christy the night before being told about needing testimonies
Providing the opportunity and only one responding
That morning I cried before the service, during the service and a couple times in my testimony. I'm a crier, it generally doesn't bother me, only in that it distracts and bothers others. I embrace that tears are cathartic and can also be full of love and happiness. It was part of the process I had to go through, but I wasn't alone. I was surrounded by a church family with open arms and encouraged with grace and mercy. Sharing seemed like such a stretch and an internal fight, but I was able to push through knowing with full confidence that I was in God's will.
Later that day we went to an island for the baptism for 3 of the people from the church. It was an amazing day full of growth in relationships with our Lord.
Enrique and Danilo (2 of the 3 guys that stay where we lived)
The first two days upon my arrival in Nicaragua I cried at least ten minutes every hour, believe me there's very little exaggeration here. I felt completely and absolutely a wreck, overwhelmingly broken. I could identify part of my distress from dealing with the consequences of poor management in recording my teams finances. Catching up pulled me away from most of my last week of ministry in the Philippines. Then during our travels there was a Wrinkle in Time, which was a joyous distraction from the burdens I had. The final day of traveling to Central America left me exhausted as I cried through our welcome dinner and praise service. I wanted to be able to celebrate with the host church that was so happy to have us, their first missionary group ever, but I just couldn't. I understood the main reasons behind my tears, but I knew there was more to the break down I was having. My main encouragement is reflecting on how empty I felt going into Philippines and how after a week the Lord's love for the Filipinos overflowed in me. I am also realizing more and more how blessed I am to have friends here and at home praying through this time with me. I'm looking forward to the healing that's beginning even though the process is rarely fun.
A slight transition from my spiritual and mental status I want to share with you some of the other brokenness that has been occurring. In our time here one of our jokes has become, "Tamara, did you break it?" It started one day when I was doing manual labor in the back and I broke the rake I was using. Then two days later I break the hoe! I'm not sure if I should mention that we had toilet troubles the end of our first week…that actually didn't get pointed at me. Again a few days latter I cracked the back of one of our chairs. Nothing had broken in a few days, but as I was pushing someone in the hammock, the string came loose and the laughs resumed. What makes this funny for us is that Mauricio, the maintenance man on the property, started the joking with his gestures and Spanish Spanglish.
Ohh…somewhere in this time I actually had an incidence where I very easily could have broken something but didn't. PRAISE GOD! There is a huge beautiful tree that I've been just aching to climb since I first saw it…you guessed it. I fell from the tree trying to climb it, about a 5-6 foot drop. I walked away with a bruised ankle and some scratches on my calf as a couple of my teammates shared their view of the fall. It was fun even if I didn't get into the branches for some time to relax. God did a great job when he made that tree. I guess some trees aren't to be climbed or at least not yet!
"Hola Tamara!" I think Latin America has been more ready to greet me than I have been able to genuinely greet it. We have been here three weeks now and I'm still struggling to get acclimated to the culture. I'll share more of this with you in a different blog, right now I want to give you a better idea of what my team and I are doing this month.
For the rest of our trip the small teams are breaking up and individuals are going more to ministries that they feel lead to. This month 7 of us ladies remained in Granada, Nicaragua while the rest of the squad went to Puerto Cabezas. Christy, Brady, and I are three from team Lego that stayed, while Courtney, Elizabeth, Heather, and Silas traveled 32 hours North by bus. Please check out some of their blogs by clicking on their names. Also check out the other four ladies blogs that are here with me: Gabe, Jenny Brown, Katey, and Gina.
The main contacts we are working with here are on staff with AIM (Adventures in Missions, our parent organization) and are in the beginning process of establishing a missionary base for future teams. The property was purchased just a month ago, we are staying in our tents living in the barn that will soon undergo huge renovations. The location is ideal because it is located just between where the city ends and the barrios (~slums~) begin. There is a stark difference between those that have and those that don't, especially in a tourist town like Granada. (Photo of the Ladies: Gabe, Brown, Gina, Tamara, Katey, Brady, Christy)
We are also working with a local church who has been praying and fasting for a team to come. It is such a humbling feeling to be an answer to a church's prayers, just by showing up! Some of their youth went to Puerto Cabezas while others stayed here to help serve with us. We do a lot of our ministry outreach to the barrios in partnership with this church. One of our days goes as following:
6:30am wake-up 7:00am manual labor in the back yard 8:30am breakfast 9:00am continue working in the back 10:30am start clean up from working outside 1:00pm lunch 2:30pm leave for door to door Evangelism in barrios 5:30pm return and unwind from barrios 7:00pm dinner 8:30pm bed-yes, I end up going to bed this early
Some days instead of working in the morning others leave to help with a feeding program from 9am to noonish. Once during the week and every Saturday we are part of and help organize a type of street service. In the times that are free we are either planning messages, recording finances, cutting media footage, practicing music, and/or rehearsing dramas.
(1) Christy and my tent (2) Pamela, the daughter of one of the ladies that cooks for us, "helping" me with finances
My foot stepped on American soil earlier than I had thought it would, in fact 3 months earlier. Most of my teammates were excited as we walked to the US customs counter talking about the stores and restaurants they wanted to visit. To me it was a little surreal, I knew I was home but it was easier to convince myself that we were arriving at another ministry location. I wasn't ready to be back in America and wondered if I would ever feel ready to reside in the US again.
Traveling from the Philippines to our next ministry location in Central America gave us a good 48-hour layover in LA. Our flight crossed over the International Date Line making our Christmas wish for teleportation seemingly true…but February 1st was just one long day. We were encouraged to stay awake through the day to help with jet lag, but I just couldn't do it. I took a much needed nap before calling my Aunt and Uncle in town. I have 3 pairs of Aunts and Uncles around the L.A. metro area that I was going to get to visit and wanted to be rested. We don't get to see each other often since most of the family lives in the Great Lakes area specifically, Michigan. I was so glad to get this opportunity to relax with family and rest in their hospitality.
I was able to share pictures and stories from countries I had been to. We talked about life in America and what I might do upon return in May.
I got to hear stories and see adorable baby pictures of my Uncles new
grandchildren! I was so excited to discuss and see kitchen remodeling ideas that we being undergone. I love that stuff. I had shown my cousin Alex the fashionable hat I got in Thailand and then the purse that matched from Cambodia. She was excited and gave me a great fashion show!
The following "story" I'm going to share with you is quite tender to my heart. To me it's not just a story, though that may be the result of me attempting to convey the essence of my heart into words. You may have heard similar testimonies, it's simple, but it's so much more to me than that.
Saturday was going to be a long day, and I wish I could say that I was up for it…but I wasn't. I needed reminding how badly I had wanted to see the Lake Taal Volcano. We had a rough start getting going in the morning, but with it all being said and done I had a great time. The weather was perfect and the scenery beautiful and lusciously green. When we got home I couldn't deny that I had a good time, though no one was able to ask. As soon as we got back I hopped into the taxi to meet the other Legos for a family pizza and bowling night. (future world racers, VERY IMPORTANT: set aside fun time with your team)
I found my family at Greenwich restaurant saving me some pepperoni pizza! We started catching up on our days and then moved to a different location for dessert courtesy of Chad and Iris (loving supporters via Elizabeth). Thank You! We had oatmeal cookies alamode and a small ice cream sundae, which always makes us happy. Before going bowling some of us wanted to check out some movies being sold just down the way. Christy, Silas, and I left as the others went to get the bowling shoes and lanes arranged.
It's a small little area of about 10-15 booths the size of an average (American) bathroom. By the time we walked to the end booth, where the movies were being sold, we had been asked about 8 times each by children if we wanted to buy some woven pot holders. I was looking for an inspirational sport grouping, and quickly found that they didn't have any to sell. I walked around glancing to see what the other vendors were selling feeling for all the child beggars that I've seen in each country we've visited so far. In frustration and despair I asked the Lord in my head, "What would you have me do?"
There was nothing I was interested in buying so I sat on the platform of a closed shop next to the movie booth where my two teammates were perusing. As I waited the children came up to me, at first to again attempt in persuading me to buy a potholder. Then some of the older children sat next to me and we began to watch each other and the people around us. They spoke no English, but we laughed together as people avoided the large cockroach crawling on the ground. As other children came and went running around chasing one another. At one point a middle-aged gentleman sat next to me who spoke English. He translated for one of the little girls telling me that I had a big nose. It made me smile, sweet honesty and observance. The man then proceeded to ask me where I was from and what I was doing. So I told him I was a missionary traveling the world to share the Gospel of Jesus. He then asked me why Americans travel around the world so much. I shared with him my thoughts and then asked him where he was from. He told me he was Muslim and traveled from elsewhere in the Philippines to Manila for some type of festival. Our conversation gradually died from there and the children came running by a younger girl wearing the shoes of another older girl. I had noticed that the children's feet were dirty, but sad to say I have been desensitized to much of these poverty indicators. I just enjoy playing, trying to communicate, and loving on them.
As the older girl asked for her shoes back, I realized I was to get the younger girl her own pair of shoes. I shot up and went to one of the two booths that sold shoes, the first only had adult shoes. Not sure of her exact shoe size I beckoned the children over and tried to size her feet and noticed another child needing shoes. The vendor would only show me shoes that weren't practical and too fancy. I was afraid they'd be stolen or sold and she'd be left barefoot again. Silas and Christy found me as they had finished looking at the movies. I told them what had happened and they full heartedly joined in the pursuit of finding shoes. We walked back to the department store only to realize that it was past nine and they had closed. The three of us returned to the shoe booth swarmed by children. The two needing shoes and the others excited to see what was happening. (I was impressed that none of the others had ditched their shoes; they weren't greedy) This time the vendor was able to find the proper sizes in the practical shoes. As we slipped them on their tiny little feet Silas shared with them the name of Jesus and how much He loved each one of them.
I was so overjoyed on the walk back to join the others for the rest ofour family night. My short prayer of frustration came to fulfillment! In fact, it wasn't any opportunity I created on my own, it was orchestrated by our Father in Heaven. AND it was shared by my brother and sister! There is so much to be praised! I was full of love and thanksgiving. If it wasn't for my teams commitment to each other, I would have gotten away with the excuse of being exhausted from my days adventure. Instead, the best part of the day was being loved and sharing that love with God's precious little ones!
P.S. The shoes had superman printed on them, hence Pairs of Superman.
I love adventure and when I heard some of the January '08 racers visited a live Volcano just outside of Manila, I was pumped! I sent out a couple e-mails and did some research on Taal Volcano to get an idea of how it would fit into our ministry schedules. After getting slightly discouraged I gave up on it, but that's when Cristie R. picked up the ball and made it a go! So last Saturday five of us took a little day vacation and this is what we have to show for it. Mark made a great mini documentary of our trek, Enjoy!
Cameras always seem to be fun and exciting around children, even more so when the camera is digital. The question is, Do I dare let one of these youngsters get behind my camera without assistance? This month I've gone ahead and relinquished my concerns of damage and scrambled settings. The best time for camera sharing generally is the time before evening devotions. I actually enjoy seeing the pictures they take. It's a little window to their interests, creativity, and playfulness. I categorized some of their pictures below.
Here are some of the pictures they've taken that I like the most:
Here are some of their Close Ups: Then there are some fun Random Picture:
Here are some "Teacher Smile" Tamara poses:
Last but not least, Cropped Shots: (I was told one person was intentionally cropped because they weren't smiling)
For the rest of our trip the small teams are breaking up and individuals are going more to ministries that they feel lead to. This month 7 of us ladies remained in Granada, Nicaragua while the rest of the squad went to Puerto Cabezas. 
